


I got a gun for a mouth (and a bullet with your name on it)

by hazyamethyst



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Indie Music RPF, Last Shadow Puppets, Milex - Fandom
Genre: Action, Guns, I really don't know what this is, M/M, Shooting, got that song stuck in my head tho, i just had the urge to write something different, suspense?, title doesn't really make sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3477353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazyamethyst/pseuds/hazyamethyst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is a hit-man, Miles his caring boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I chaptered this just for the sake of suspense, it really is a oneshot so....since I decided to do so, I can make this sort of choose-your-own-adventure thing (god I loved those books!)  
> If you want the kinda happy ending: read until III  
> If you want the ?oh-so-sad ending: read until IV
> 
> It's up to you then :)

“Now go” I said in a cold tone, eyes fixed on the tickling clock fixed tightly around my thin wrist.

_20 minutes_

“Please _Al_ , you can _still_ call it off. You…this fucking guy used to be a war hero; killed and tortured hundreds… it’s awfully dangerous babe. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, he truly is a professional.” Miles quavered and sobbed in that helpless-baby fashion that threatened to break the only not hardened and wretched portion of my heart that belong to him exclusively.

_Stop hugging me so tight, you’re practically crushing my ribs._

“I’m not repeating it again, _Mi_. Get dressed and _go_. I’m a professional too, there’s nothing for ye to worry about, before you even know I’ll appear side-stage holding a glass up and winking at you, _my sexy rockstar_.” I tried to lighten the mood by complimenting and making him focus on his upcoming big tour.

“You…you never take this seriously _Al_. Never! It’s not a game you fool; you’re just a kid exceptionally good at aiming that gets a bang out of thinking he’s enormously helping his country by killing the bad guys. England…they don’t give a fuck about you _Al_ , you’re totally disposable to them. They couldn’t care less if you died during one of this shitty missions; they surely have plenty of people waiting in line to replace you…But I…The obscurer days of my existence are those that go by accumulating in weeks during which I don’t know anything about you…God, I don’t want you to die… like this. Please, listen to me _Al_ , I have a terrible ominous feeling about this. ”

_10 minutes_

“ _Mi_ , I’m not dying.” I assured him in a calm tone as I patted the top of his head that was presently buried in my shoulder. “It’s almost time, hurry up.” I forced myself out of the asphyxiating embrace and got dressed.

_This farewell sex is such a bad idea. Gets him all sensitive and cloying every time._

I stood ready on the doorway, fingers playing with the golden handle.

_5 minutes_

“Miles!” I called him.

Not hearing any answer, I was about to run and literally drag him out when, at last, he appeared head low, dragging his feet around.

“Please _take care_. I love you so so so much _Al_...” He pecked at my lips.

“I love you too, enjoy the tour babe!” I replied, pushing him out. I hated the thought that such an upbeat, cheerful and lovely person like him could turn so miserably sad because of me.

_I really don’t deserve you._

Closing the door, I finally inhaled deeply and tried to shut down all emotions and feelings apart so that I could concentrate on what was coming.

_12.00 am: Manhunt is on_

I headed to the kitchen, as per tradition, to prepare some revitalising delicious coffee. Casually, I stopped by my favourite dartboard and decided to take a shot.

It landed right on the bull’s-eye.

_Of course._


	2. II

Two weeks had gone by since my solitary manhunt started and I had hardly made any progress. I was in London now, a city I knew like the back of my hand still…I was starting to feel somewhat paranoid as I walked down the busy streets. It always got me a little bit nervous when this ‘search instance’ lasted more than a couple days. I’m not fucking _Sherlock_ _Holmes_ ; following clues is really not my thing. I needed to know his bloody whereabouts, and hell this guy was good at leaving dead-end leads everywhere. Of course, I myself kept changing names, hair colour and hotels every single day but, in all reality, I thought I was falling behind in comparison. And that greatly unsettled me- the notion that this fucker could possibly already know more about me than I do of him.

_Fear is useless; it only distracts people from their goals._

_Focus Alex._

_\----------------_

_Manchester_

A ‘hacker group’ from the national intelligence department informed me that they’d managed to track, for some minutes, his regular internet connections and they all came from here.

“Be careful, though. Dude’s sort of a hacker too so, for all we know, this could well be a trap” I had been told by loyal Jerry.

I checked myself at the mirror of some girls’ clothes shop as I strolled past a shopping centre. I was using my recently dyed and favourite long-hair wig and, overall, looked a proper blond Finnish blue-eyed tourist that had got mildly tanned during their stay in sunny Spain. It struck me how convincing my disguise looked, I barely recognised myself at first glance.

_That’s good._

I palmed my handgun heavy in my overcoat pocket; the diminutive plastic box full of mints in the other one. I was on my way to seduce a library assistant girl that apparently had been recommending my man books about the evolution of guns and British spy history too. She was apparently remarkably pretty, at least that what my informant had told me, and so we expected our guy had maybe committed a slip of the tongue and gave the bird some address or a number so they could stay in touch. It was a long shot but still it was worth a try to reduce the area of searching even more.

Suddenly, an alien loud ringtone came from the very bag I was carrying. I stopped dead on my tracks. Nobody ever calls me. The cellphone I have right now is for calling purposes _only_. My number keeps changing automatically every half hour so I basically don’t even know it myself most of the time.

_Maybe it’s just stupid campaign advertising. Elections are close._

I took hold of the vibrating thing and stared in awe at it.

_‘Unknown’_ it read

Out of instinct, I glanced around feeling I had stupidly let my guard down by focusing on something most likely unimportant. I put the thing on my pocket now and kept walking but soon after I heard the sound again.

Both curious and worried I walked towards the _‘emergency exit’_ gate and, pushing its bar, I entered this quiet passage where I decided to take the mysterious call. Breathing was heard on the line, I stayed as silent as an alert night owl.

“Alex” an electronically altered and awfully high-pitched voice said.

_It’s a joke. Hackers like Jerry get bored all the time. He’s just messing with me. It has to be him._

I waited.

“Not talking, huh? Well, if you are _so_ willing to listen, I will tell you a tale. Once upon a time, there was a very young lad so brainwashed with patriotism and fixated on sucking the queen’s ass that he simply obeyed all her little killing whims with no further questioning. Because so many _evil_ people threaten the glamorous lifestyle of the queen, poor old lady! He felt he had a _cause_ to fight for: national security, what a noble he was! But they all forgot to teach him the ABCs of the lifestyle he should accordingly lead, and oh no! Our hero fell in love…what a big mistake that was! Now some poor innocent idiot called Miles is getting killed because of our hero’s irresponsibility. What a terribly sad ending, isn’t it?”

_Miles_

The mere mention of his name sent an acute chill down my spine.

**_No, no, no fucking no._ **

Everything is wrong, he can’t possibly know my real name, he can’t have _Mi_ …he’s in the States, on tour…far, safe.

“Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you even talking about?” I hissed in a feigned composed and deep as fuck tone while I fidgeted with my hair.

_He can’t have him. God please._

“Wrong answer.” The voice started laughing manically and out of nowhere a shot was heard along with a piercing scream.

_It’s his scream. I know his voice pitch by heart._

_He fucking has him._

“Stop! Don’t you fuckin’ hurt him!” I yelled in the heat of the moment very stupidly.

_The more he knows I care about him, the worse this thing is going to go down._

“That one was on his right feet. Now, if you do have some dignity left in your nauseous being, you’re going to do the correct thing and come here like the _obedient boy_ you are and I’ll let you kill this poor fool yourself. It was so easy _Alex_ , he was practically the shining star that guided me and gave away all your so-concealed locations. Checking-in in hotels that were just a block away from yours with his very famous name, he kept a close watch on you and you didn’t even notice it…Now how funny is that!? This is the people our land trust for their security! In all reality, I could have finished you petty amateur a week ago or so but I thought better of it and decided to give you some fair suffering. In some minutes, I’ll send an address to your phone. It almost goes without saying that if you’re not there before midnight things will get pretty bad for your innocent _cute_ little boyfriend. I’ve always had a thing for these rockstar youngsters, you know… And this one is so feminine I bet he moans like a slut when he is getting it …”

‘Don’t ye fucking dare come Al’ I heard Miles almost inaudible shout from afar.

“Oh I guess you’re even a loser at bed too then. Anyway, it’s up to you, you brilliant James Bond. Ciao!”

The line went dead as I stood in utmost shock, tears escaping my non-blinking eyes.

_What the fuck was he thinking in? He was supposed to be in the States by now, touring. I personally arranged his goddamned tour, I packed his things..._

I was fucked. In a sense, the electronic voice was right: hitmen go solo. They don’t have any family, friends, relatives…bonds make them easy targets. I used to meet such vital requirement but eight years ago that changed. I really couldn’t help falling in love with Miles that night I was drinking by myself in my favourite bar. His band was playing there and god I was smitten by that performance. I thought he was just going to be one more occasional fuck but, in the end, he turned out to be the person that made me feel human again and gave a true meaning to my otherwise empty life. He’s my everything, I can’t lose him.

**_I can’t._ **


	3. III

_4 hours left._

Stomping across the hotel room in total desperation I tried to scheme some sort of plan to persuade this son of a bitch to let _Mi_ go. At this point that was my one and only goal, I didn’t give a shit what this crazypig would then do to me. I mean, this chap is famous for peeling his victims skin off alive, stabbing their eyes, electrocuting them at regular intervals and many more tortures he took from the goriest horror films to ever exist.

_My babe is now at this maniac’s mercy and I can’t do anything about it._

_Anything_ because the intelligence service thinks I _actually_ go solo _(yes, I had been awfully careful to keep my love life private)_ and if they found out otherwise then I’d got killed for ‘putting national secrecy in risk’. _Anything_ because turning up there is out of question –he’d probably torture _Mi_ in front of me for his own morbid pleasure and kill him all the same. _Anything_ because I have absolutely no data about him, and therefore no threats to make; my thorough investigations had all been fruitless to the point I don’t even know this twat’s real name.

Overwhelmed with the turmoil of negative feelings inside me, I headed to the kitchen to pour myself the eleventh cup of coffee of the afternoon. Hands trembling permanently now, I missed the little cup and burnt my hand with the boiling hot liquid.

“Fuck it!” I cursed the goddamned feeble coffee pot but then I had a miraculous revelation.

_Heat, of course._

 

_\--------------_

_2 hours_

‘Snipers are cowards.’

‘Snipers are guardian angels.’

Such contrasting opinions marines have and while I normally would align myself with the first since I commonly prefer to presence first-hand criminals’ terrified expressions and endless stupid pleas today I was a fucking distant saviour alright.

With a special thermal imaging weapon sight, that is.

It had taken me about an hour to inconspicuously set my equipment in the opposite apartment’s roof terrace and locate his fucking apartment by peering through the sight. An unexpected problem had arisen though. There were about four people in his apartment and all were in the same goddamned room. I was pretty much certain Miles was the one hunched up in a corner, barely moving his head. However, the other red masses walked continuously all around the place and there was no way I could make out who my man was. Sure, I could shoot them all, but…What if the other two were innocent people?

_I never kill innocent people._

So I waited.

 

\-------

_1 hour._

Now five, six, seven who the hell knows? In my attempt not to kill potentially clean-handed subjects I had took the worst decision ever and now more people had arrived, complicating things considerably. I knew I could still shoot them all but as soon as the first ones fall the others will notice and consequently move and act.

_And Miles is just steps away from them._

If only I had a comrade to send there while I shoot some, it could perfectly work. But as it now is it was dangerous and I’m not risking Miles life if I have a say in it.

_There has to be another way._

 

\---

_20 minutes_

_The closer the target, the faster the bullet._

Miles lay now supine by a wall.

_You should hunch up now honey, you’d be a harder target that way._

Standing in the sombre hallway, before the goddamned apartment itself, I carried my silenced shotgun like a prayer and wore my thermic goggles like a rosary.

_This is the turning point of my life. I can’t fail now._

_Not saving him is not an option._

Inhaling deeply, I aimed the big red shapeless masses in a rapid succession twice, sort of rehearsing the upcoming scene.

_I fired in rage._

\---

Cartridge empty, wall pierced, bodies seemingly still, I forced the door open just in time to see a chubby guy, under the pile of unequivocally dead bleeding bodies, crawling towards a gun that stayed safely out of his reach as he glanced desperately the way Miles was.

Not uttering a word, I sprang to wear he was and, kicking the goddamn gun he pursued away, I gave him just enough time to look at my eyes as I emptied a whole new cartridge on his head and chest.

I think it was him, the bloody rotten shit, but I wasn’t that sure since all the now lifeless bodies looked very alike and any of them could have been my initial target. Anyway, I caught this last one fantasising about shooting my dear _Miles_ so no amount of bullets could ever by punishment enough for him.

_Mi_

The total silence in the room abruptly alarmed me and so I sprinted to where Miles was. He looked like a sleeping angel.

_Better you didn’t see me taking people’s lives._

_I’m a monster._

“Miles” I whispered shaking him softly, tears of joy running down my face when he drowsily blinked a few times.

“Al! I _explicitly_ told you not to come.” He slurred, nervously looking around.

“It’s alright babe they’re all dead, you’re safe now with me. I promise you I’m leaving all this for good _Mi_. We’ll go live to fuckin’ Australia like you’ve always wanted.” I smiled and cupped his face in my hands lovingly.

_This was all too close._

“Oh, Al” He whispered and yawned adorably.

“Let’s get out of here” I helped him get on his feet “Don’t look babe, it’s all over now.” I covered his eyes with my hand and leaded the way out of this disaster as I called the security department to send the _cleaning team_.

 


	4. IV

Only it wasn’t quite _over_. After walking down the seemingly never-ending hallway we waited impatiently for the lift since there were no stairs. But when the doors opened they revealed a tall muscular tattooed bloke that, on seeing Alex and me, took his gun out and…Alex always faster had already fired his own.

_A click._

Somehow, Alex had no bullets left. Not even one. With that outstanding aiming a _single_ bullet would have been enough. But the cartridge was empty so with pure horror written all over his ethereal face, and a bullet already in his leg, he urged me back to a dark corner and pushed me down as he squatted and human-shielded me.

_What are you doing?_

“Close your eyes” He ordered placing his hands over my ears but that’s the last thing I felt like doing. I couldn’t move, I was still terribly weak because of the sleeping pills I had been given and soundly paralysed by fear.

_This has to be a nightmare._

‘I love you, please forgive me.’ I heard his fragile voice whisper just before he got shot…

In the feet,

legs,

arms,

chest,

_head_ …

Absolutely _everywhere_ bullets hit him and his blood slowly painted me red as I frantically cried terrified by the idea of _Al_ dying ‘No please stop- no, not him. Not him!’

_But it was already too late_

The only reason I walked out of there alive is because _Al_ was wearing a solid bulletproof vest and had called this British goddamned team who did arrive, and seeing the situation that was taking place, effectively shot the monster that mercilessly kept firing at a positively dead Al.

_It was all my fault really, for stupidly following him around in the first place._

‘I love you, _please_ forgive me.’ is all I sing since that cursed January 3 rd and the only concert I ever give nowadays is to that blue urn full of ashes that formerly were the apple of my eye.

_I miss you so much babe._

                                                                                                                           

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback is really appreciated! x
> 
> *you can find me on tumblr too,  
> i'm calmlikemilex :) *


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